Have you tried to break up with someone, ever?
Have you tried to forget someone, remove him/her from your life, move on?
Has it worked?
Ugh, it hasn’t worked very well for me!
You can de-friend someone, block him/her on Gchat, delete their text messages, stop following their Instragrams, and remove their Snapchat names (because god forbid you see their best friend list with a strange girl on it… it may lead to Facebook stalking and inquiring texts to determine exactly who might have replaced you).
But still, you never know where this someone could pop up!
Two weeks ago I was happily sitting in my kitchen scrolling through Facebook, as I too often do. And then, out of nowhere, appears a picture of a boy long removed from my friends list. A girl from high school had tagged him in a picture of them together! What?!
It only took me about two seconds and one text message later to determine they are dating. Well that’s a sorpresa! And something I really didn’t need or want to know. So instead of continuing to scroll happily through my Facebook, I ended up staring at the wall imagining the two of them together at his grandmother’s house, where I had been, oh I don’t know… about seven long years ago!
Finally I realized I had to get a grip on reality. “Oh hey, Colombia! Oh hey different continent, different life, different me!” I promptly left the house and ended up at a very bad reggae bar where at least I could think about horrible music rather than weird scenes of a life long gone.
A week later I unfortunately dreamt about another past boy, only to wake up to a Facebook reminder that it’s his birthday. Of course it had to be his birthday! I immediately fell into a vortex of memories of previous birthdays and the long sequence of unhappy events that was our “relationship”. It only left me disheveled and once again in need of reorienting myself to my current life. It just won’t stop.
Should it stop? Probably. Will it stop? Probably not.
Even with all my boxes neatly stacked and counted here in Colombia with no troublesome boys within a country’s distance, nothing can or will stop the steady presence of technology and its one million and two ways to keep in contact with them.
Of course, I could delete all my social media apps. I could be in Colombia and only in Colombia. But what about my family? What about my best friends? What about all the people who I love? They might forget about me!!! And I need them! (And well, duh, I’m as addicted to Facebook as every other stricken member).
So the question becomes, how to manage a love life riddled with memory mines that could set off at any Facebook log in?
And how to manage the temptation of sending a text, a gchat, a Facebook message?
It’s so easy! Too easy!
It was probably hard enough to break up with someone before the modern technological age. But now… now!? Well it makes it nearly impossible to properly break up with someone. And what’s that doing to our hearts? This phenomenon where we are always able to know, to hang on to facts, to be upset by reminders? No, no no, this can’t be good!
We’re going to have to adapt some pretty damn good mechanisms for dealing. At least we can always send each other a text, a Gchat, a Snapchat, a Facetime request, a Facebook message, an email, a Skype message… (am I missing any?)…
Yes, thank god I’ve got a million and two means for contacting my dearest friends even in Colombia.