They’re sexy and they own it

Can you be sexy without any sexual intentions?

Anyone remember that t-shirt from middle school that said “Be Sexy. It doesn’t mean you have to have sex”, or something like that? Well I’d long forgotten it, until now.


Here in Colombia, people dance sexy ALL THE TIME. But they’re not always trying to have sex. They’re just dancing their way through life and giggling every so often as they do it.

Men, women, children of Cali, Colombia- they all shake it oh so sexily. (Okay that’s a stereotype and I’m sure there’s a whole slew of Caliños that don’t dance and are thus hidden from my weekend excursions to salsa clubs and public parks). But the ones I have seen… they’re killing it out there!

When guys here try to teach me to dance my gut reaction is “even if you get me to move my hips (and good luck with that) I’m still not going to kiss you!” And that interpretation is so wrong (and so American). Despite the fact I look different than everyone else, I’m not being objectified (as far as I know). Even being the white girl I am, I’m just a person with hips that should move to the music. That’s simply the nature of the dance.

I think it may be the men who dance in ways that surprise me most. Men can move like that too!? What?! They want to swirl their hips and wiggle their asses and shimmy their chests?! It’s fantastic really! A place liberalized enough for men and women to dance sexy because it’s fun and funny, but not because they’re asking for sex. I’ve seen it happen before in the states with groups of women, so I’m not trying to entirely discredit that, buuut, I haven’t seen it done, for example, in a public park at 10am on Sunday morning with 100 people from ages 7 to 70 doing ass shaking circles in unison.

Wouldn’t it be nice if there were more places where a little ass shake wasn’t interpreted as “have sex with me please”?


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